you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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