you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
