it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
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I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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