Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
