i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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