She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
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hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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