I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
don't judge my taste in strippers
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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