I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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