If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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