Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
