My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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