I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Enjoy the penises
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
