could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
