Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
