i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
