tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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