so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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