How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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