Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
