I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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