Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
