So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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