he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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