My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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