PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
