Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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