About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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