oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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