drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His hands were made for my vagina.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
