Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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