I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
