who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dick very happy bro
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??