Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize