My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
