Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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