dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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