are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
