any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
