Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I feel like abortions should bother me more
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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