i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
