How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
