If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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