Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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