This is not my ceiling
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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