I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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