Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize