The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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