I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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