Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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