Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
