grandma shit on top of the toilet
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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