his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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