I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
