My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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