I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
