Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
