You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
