she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
