Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize