is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
