got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
