I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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