So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize