Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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