i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
