I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
