CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
