oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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